Friday, 11 September 2015
My Health and Fitness Journey
I always say this to my friends and family:
"if I want to do something, it has to come from me."
It is a mentality I've built up since I had had enough of listening to people telling me how I should live my life and what I should look like when I used to live in Hong Kong.
The society loved (and still do) to criticise just about anything, and people felt that it is their right to tell you what they think about you right in your face. I was made to believe that at 154cm tall, weighing 50kg (if you are into BMI, that was 21.1, ie ideal) was unacceptable and I was fat. My target weight was 42kg, but the "best" I could do was 49kg. I was living based on other people's criteria.
I finally found myself when I came over here to study. At that time (about 15 years ago) the UK gave me a carefree, non-judgmental, "my look doesn't bother you" feel (perhaps also because I was seen as skinny/ healthy for the first time), and I was happy, confident, and felt for the first time in my life, that I was who I was, and I was free from judgements.
I have gradually gained weight since then, from getting to a healthier weight to now being overweight. Friendly advise are more meaningful and caring now even though they still sound awful to the ears and mind, but my mentality still hasn't changed - If it isn't coming from myself, I can't change myself, because if I listen to your "advise", then I'll be changing for you but not for myself.
However, things changed last year when I was given the opportunity to review #Slimpod from ThinkingSlimmer, I suddenly felt really motivated. The thing is, I wasn't approached to do it. I actually answered to a review request on Facebook, so it was coming from me. See the difference? There was no judging and criticism, and not asking me to go on a diet or exercise was a big bonus as well of course. After all, Slimpod is about getting your subconscious to want to be healthier, and hence the idea of eating healthier and exercising would then come from within you.
Through the 12 weeks program, I've lost a dress size, 2 bra sizes (that's a positive thing to me!) and approximately 15kg. I have never felt so happy about a weight loss program before. But when I got used to the Slimpod, I found myself losing motivation. and since there was so much going on i my life nearing the end of the program, I gave up. It was still a great achievement though.
Then came Christmas, and the holiday binge eating hadn't stopped for months until early July when I was introduced to Kayla Itsins' Bikini Body Guide (BBG) through Instagram.
I suddenly felt really motivated again, and have picked up Slimpod again too to go with the BBG. You see? When it comes from yourself, you'll be willing to do the extras to make it work.
Together with eating clean, I managed to lose 3cm each off my biceps, thighs, chest and bum (weight checking were not encouraged by Thinkingslimmer nor Kayla because weight is made up of a lot of things and it can become meaningless, especially when you are building muscles at the same time. I couldn't resist checking of course and have also lost 3lbs) within 4 weeks. It was a bit slow, but I was happy that for the first time in my life, I was happy to exercise.
But then our trip to Holland came along and everything fell apart. How could I resist all the good food that was part of my childhood? I ate all the way until the end of August (we bought a LOT of food from Holland), but part of me is still determined to lose sizes and get back to being healthy. So I told myself that the first day of school will be my healthier eating and exercise reboot day (I haven't stopped listening to Slimpod at all but it wasn't really working when my subconscious is extremely focused on reliving the childhood and eating until the end of August!).
Since Monday, my reboot day, things has gone really well. I've been exercising daily (without Abby telling me to stop losing weight because she loves me just the way I am! *heart melts*), eating healthier and much smaller portions compared to when I was doing the BBG for the first time (thinking that I need to eat enough because I exercise made me eat more and not really helping!).
I still eat something naughty (an extra kabanos sausage, use peanut butter and sesame oil sauce for my lunch, or some crisps for snack for example) if I crave for it, because I found that eating completely clean upsets the food junkie in me and makes it harder for me to stick to the diet. I want to be healthy but not unhappy like I was in Hong Kong.
I've also changed the BBG exercise to something that suits me more, because let's be honest, the BBG is pretty hard core, so I'd like to build up my strength first and not lose motivation before I try it again. I still follow the Monday, Wednesday and Friday for cardio exercise and Tuesday and Thursday for low intensity exercise routine, because a change makes it less boring and will hopefully keep me going.
And then I started writing 3 positive things on my diary again as recommended by ThinkingSlimmer, just to show myself that something is working. I haven't measured myself (I really should) but I've lost 3.5lb since Monday, and the fat % has dropped too (20% according to my "too much information" weighing scale) so that's a good start!
Although it's a long way for me to get back to a healthy stage (after all, it took me many years to gain what I have gained!), I'm working on it, and it's not as repelling because I want to do this for myself, not for others.
Good luck to all those who are on their health and fitness journey as well, remember that we are ahead of our yesterday self, and that's a well done already! Keep it up!