Tuesday, 29 July 2014

Guest Post - Tori from Work it Mamma

When we first become parents, we can only rely on advice from the experienced. But there are so many that we tend to overwhelm ourselves with information! Tori from Work it Mamma tells you how she felt when she became pregnant 2 years ago in this light hearted post.

Obsession with Parenting Advice

When you become a parent you immediately enter a world where someone relies one you and everyone tells you, yes, this is it now, you'll be responsible, totally and utterly for another human being.

What they forget to tell you is that along with this enormous responsibility comes its very own parallel universe, in which you begin to rely on everything else but you.

It starts slowly with a few websites telling you how big your baby is and what you should be feeling at 6 weeks, 12 weeks and on and on and on. Then it builds. Enter your due date and find out when your baby is due. Forget the fact you can remember being drunk and highly inappropriate in a hotel room and can pin point conception exactly. Gloss over the fact your pelvis is feeling like a hammock with a rather vigorous sumo wrestling match going on inside. You STILL need to know what fruit size best expresses this pain.

With a few weeks to go you can throw logic and personal preference out the window. Go online to find out what to pack in your hospital bag. I don't care I hate socks and never wear them. I packed them because someone with cold feet recommended it and wrote a list.

I waddled in with pillows, socks, lip balm but had none of the things I love. Why would I do that, no one had written that in a list!

Along the way you sign up for umpteen baby site email updates and so you can never escape. They pop up unexpectedly, luring you in with yet more ways to play with your child, wash your child etc etc. slowly but surely your ability to rely in your own instinct is gone. They own you!

You bring your baby home and immediately turn to the internet for more info. Despite having washed myself, fairly successfully, for more than 30 years I clearly needed someone to tell me how to clean a baby.

 Never use anything other than fairy breath and cotton wool on your baby. How bloody annoying is cotton wool?! Dry, it simply sticks to everything. Wet, it practically dissolves into useless sludge. It is no match for sludgy green first poo. Wipes,they work and they wipe poo and somewhere in my bank of pre-baby knowledge I knew this.

As your baby grows the assaults become more targeted. Now, I may be pretty special but for years I've known sugar is not great for you. A bit's ok, just like a little chocolate is ok. The odd fish finger won't lead to a lifetime addiction to junk food and living in one room fearful of being airlifted to hospital by the fat police.

But still I scoured books and sites on what to feed my son. I knew, like we all do, it's balance. Lots of good, healthy, fresh food and a few treats. But those internet sites and 'experts' had penetrated my soul. I was theirs and my journey back would be a treacherous one. It's not so much reading advice but searching, panic in full swing for the 'answer' that really takes over.

I'm 10 days clean, no sites, no other advice apart from good old common sense and the odd note from my mum. You see, apparently women have been doing this for years. Being responsible for a little person doesn't mean we have to hand over our decisions to Facebook, baby mags and other well-meaning sites.

I'm taking each day as it comes, aware danger lurks around every furtive Facebook check and blog scour. But I'm doing ok.  As for Arthur, well he's ok too. Currently munching on a chocolate biscuit but he did have salmon and broccoli for lunch. That is ok, isn't it?